Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Lucky's World...

Most of you are familiar with our little Lucky.

In two days, we will be transferring Lucky to another rescue who will be able to get her the medical attention she needs with a neurologist. It weighs heavy on my heart that we have to let her go but I know it is what is best for her.
I have had several opportunities to just watch Lucky. Sometimes I wonder...what does she think right now? does she understand? what does she see? what can she hear?  It was frustrating to really want to see through Lucky's eyes and not be able to know what was going on with her. The one thing that always stood out about Lucky is that she is HAPPY!

As the weeks went by and we were able to spend more time with Lucky, I went from feeling sorry for her to feeling like I needed to protect her. Lucky didn't let her condition stop her or hinder I shouldn't cry for her b/c she is the way she is. She is HAPPY. My tears didn't stop for her though. I went from crying and hurting for her because she is different to shedding tears of fear and desperation of wanting to protect her and help her. I accepted Lucky the way she was because she accepts her life the way it is. Whether she understands what is going on around her or not....we may never know. Lucky isn't in physical pain and she isn't sick. She has a neurological condition that makes her different. We don't know if she understands how to communicate with us or other dogs. She doesn't respond to other K9 communications like most dogs. 
As we were able to watch Lucky and Sammie play together; we realized Sammie didn't judge her either. They became close friends and Sammie played with her no matter what. When she didn't understand to stop nipping at Sammie he just changed the game to tug or chase.Unfortunately, Sport and Toby became less tolerant of her. They sensed she was different and that made them nervous.
Through the weeks that we had Lucky, we heard several opinions on what we should do....keep her, adopt her out, get her help but what we heard the most was heart wrenching for us to even hear......euthanize her! We have never had to put a dog to rest and surely weren't about to consider doing it now. I met and spoke with vets, rescue volunteers, and trainers. Everyone has a different opinion. I finally realized I needed to figure this decision out on my own. Lucky didn't end up with us for no reason and I wasn't about to give up on her. 
Shortly after my grandmother passed away in March, I struggled alot with my faith. I was desperate and felt I was almost out of options. I figured, "why not", who's it going to hurt, just pray....It went something like this "God, you may be up there and you may not, Grandma could be listening for all i know, FINALLY....but if you are, I'm sure you are pretty pissed off at me  right now but we can talk about that later and if you feel the need to strike me with lightening then you can do that but it will have to wait a while.....this isn't about me so do you think you can just help me out? Lucky needs a miracle. I think I at least believe sometimes things could happen for a reason and I know these dogs I rescue don't end up with me for no reason. If she is meant to stay with us, can you please talk to Toby and ask him to be nice to her because he isn't listening to me and Chad? and...can you please teach her to be potty trained? I don't think she understand us. Most of all, can you please help me to help her. I know she is happy but she needs a special doctor and I want her to be able to live out her life. Please help me find her the help she deserves"
Last Saturday afternoon, I spoke to another rescue volunteer on facebook (she emailed me). This was a lady who I have never met before. The same lady who gave me all the resources and contacts I needed to get Lucky pulled from a shelter two hours away form me and boarded at an affordable rate for the 10 days we were on our honeymoon. She was a blessing. She gave me the name of another rescue group that might could help with Lucky. So I sent them an email.......and waited.

Monday, I got a reply to my email "Amanda, I think we can help Lucky" signed Noah's Ark Rescue. I had cried all morning at my desk this day wondering if I was going to be able to help Lucky. I cried all afternoon because my prayers had been answered.
Lucky hasn't been an easy dog to take care of....she isn't potty trained, she doesn't understand commands, she has to take medicine twice a day, she nips and bites, she grabs your pants leg and plays tug, every 5 days in the middle of the night she has seizures. At times it was challenging and exhausting but all we had to do is just watch her for a few minutes and realize, Lucky is a HAPPY dog.
I am not sure what goes on in Lucky's world but I know she has taught me alot about mine. As much as we were able to help Lucky, she changed us, taught us and made us appreciate so much more. 
We are going to miss Lucky....very much. For us this isn't good bye, its see ya later. Doesn't make it any easier, at least not for me. I know I have to trust the rescue that is taking her and getting her to the neurologist.....but it doesn't make it any easier to leave her. We will always keep up with Lucky and how she is doing and hope to get to visit her.....who knows maybe one day she will come back to our house. I know this is what is best for her. There becomes a very special bond that cant be explained between a dog like Lucky and the ones who care for them. While my heart is scared, broken and hurting for her; she is still smiling at me and HAPPY. A few people said to us...."she doesn't even know she is happy"....."she doesn't even know what being a dog is like"......Lucky doesn't have to know the definition of happiness, Lucky doesn't have to know the rules or ways of being a dog......Lucky just has to be allowed to be Lucky and if you allow her to do that, you will see she is HAPPY.

Part of me has a broken heart but I would like to think it is the part that I am sending with her when I have to let her go.